Perhaps this will make sense in a couple of years from now. I\u2019m talking about this blog, in case you were wondering. Yes, you, the only person that was eagerly waiting patiently for this post. This won\u2019t be riveting, I apologize. I was supposed to write something awesome yesterday, which was Sunday, but I was irritated, which lead to frustration, which ultimately lead to the lack of commitment. Commitment is such a wonderful word, that\u2019s easily taken for granted. Not entirely sure where this post will go, because it\u2019s all impromptu, and it\u2019s quite difficult to write anything creative nowadays, especially if you lack creativity in your life.<\/p>\n
Once again, I\u2019m here deprecating my life\u2019s decisions. I know you\u2019re tired of all this, and I don\u2019t blame you. For me, this is somewhat therapeutic, and many times, my way to abstract my rationality into a more efficient manner, without going all the way insane. At first, I wanted to write something about this past week, what I\u2019ve done to consume entertainment, but I haven\u2019t done anything at all, or at least nothing worthwhile. It\u2019s like life\u2019s one huge veil of anxiety and uncertainty. Don\u2019t get me wrong, although I speak about despair and loneliness, I\u2019m not entirely about melancholy, I\u2019m just quite middling in life. I don\u2019t believe in going with the flow of things though, and probably that\u2019s the case, I want to drive my own ship to the harbor. I don\u2019t like the fact that I have to rely on the \u201cflow<\/em>\u201d, I want to make my own course through life.<\/p>\n Incidentally, that\u2019s not easy to do; making your own course through life. I\u2019m about to turn three decades old in less than a year from now. That\u2019s quite terrifying. This is where I should be comparing and contrasting everyone\u2019s lives, whether they\u2019re five years younger or five years older, it\u2019s all quite terrifying, the uncertainty. I don\u2019t want to say I\u2019m bitter, especially for the success of my friends, who\u2019ve rightfully, and who\u2019ve worked hard at deserving everything — no I won\u2019t be that person, I don\u2019t want to be that person. I just need something drastic in my life to occur, but hopefully not tragic. Something that may change my course in life, for the better. Perhaps, between the prayers and being optimistic about life in general, isn\u2019t enough. I have to push myself to move forward. Get out of being dormant. Perhaps, I need to take my own advice, instead of dwelling into life\u2019s ambiguity. Perhaps the time is now? Perhaps, I have to stop<\/em>.<\/p>\n Until next time.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Perhaps this will make sense in a couple of years from now. I\u2019m talking about this blog, in case you were wondering. Yes, you, the only person that was eagerly waiting patiently for this post. This won\u2019t be riveting, I apologize. I was supposed to write something awesome yesterday, which was Sunday, but I was […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.abayarts.com\/benjaminabaya\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.abayarts.com\/benjaminabaya\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.abayarts.com\/benjaminabaya\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.abayarts.com\/benjaminabaya\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.abayarts.com\/benjaminabaya\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=23"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/www.abayarts.com\/benjaminabaya\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":24,"href":"http:\/\/www.abayarts.com\/benjaminabaya\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23\/revisions\/24"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.abayarts.com\/benjaminabaya\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=23"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.abayarts.com\/benjaminabaya\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=23"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.abayarts.com\/benjaminabaya\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=23"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}